Be warned my fellow Terra friends. For there is evil in the hearts of men.
Today i was lured by a group of cyrillic speaking tribesmen into their territory. I followed them and thought all was well. In broken english i was told that there would be food and wine awaiting me. I was filled with joy and trotted along till we saw the village over the hill. I had not eaten for days and my belly was aching like a horny bear growls. I started defecating blood, so i was willing to go anywhere and do anything.
Arriving at the place some good samaritan gave me some cold pumpkin soup and after that the leader of the place told me there was some cheese inside the cabin. Being the hungry peasant that i was, i walked in without hesitation or doubt, hoping to set my teeth in a big chunky sweaty salty piece of cheese. Mmmh.
He closed the door behind me and so i was trapped like a mouse. Woe be upon me.
Worst of all there was no cheese..
He and 3 friends came and forced me to drink a cup of something that looked like black wine ( it smelled like horse's urine ). I passed out shortly and awoke at sunset. My butt was hurting and i came to the horrific conclusion that these people were actuall gopniks, for they had spilled mayonaise all over the place and it reeked of vodka and shaslick.
After they'd had their fun with me i was released saying 'we dont like used sandwich'. Not only was my honor besmirched and covered in mayonaise, they didnt even want my hot body anymore. Heathens! As i got out i ran into the same sweetheart that helped me out earlier, she gave me some food and a quick handy to help me recover from the trauma, bless her kind soul. It was majestic.
But then the evil King arrived, took all the food and kidnapped my soon to be ex-wife. I was shocked, terrified and confused at the same time.
(The guy trying to be Versace in his shiny armor is the evil do'er btw)
I ran away through the town and passed along some horses that were obviously victim to the same terrors as i was. Perhaps the horses were able to satisfy and 'fill' the leaders of the village better than i could? I try not to ponder on it too much, but i feel i must safe these horses somehow, someway.
Their identies have been covered to prevent shame.
When i tried to talk to them about these matters, i got laughed at. I lost my marbles and told them i would come for them and put a stop to their wicked ways. Only to find out...
'Je kunt niet praten tot dit is uitgewerkt' meaning 'You cant talk till this timer runs out'
I got censored, by God, i did. It's a dictatorship in the making i tell you!
I ran away again only to end up on the edge of the region.
At least here i can think of a plan to save the horses from their endless miserable lives in unholy slavery. Any tips to save the horses will be welcome.
Be carefull out there my friends, i dont know if i'll every recover from this experience.